Chapter 13

A few hours passed before Alucard and Seras returned to the Hellsing mansion. The two vampires stood before Integra making their report. Walter, Ferguson and Pickman were also present.

"The traitors have been judged and silenced master." Alucard stated.

"Good. The queen wishes me to pass onto you all her gratitude for your service during this mission. Officer Seras, you are to be congratulated for helping capture the spy in Hellsing and also helping to weed out the traitor in the Round Table Conference. The other knights claim to have no knowledge of Regenald's plan, but he message has been clearly made that such acts will not be tolerated against the queen, her subjects, church and her noble Hellsing Organization." Integra responded.

"What about Iscariate Sir Integra? Will anything be done to them for their involvement against us?" Seras asked.

"Since they were unknowingly made part of the diversion I'm afraid no real action can be taken against them. However, they have been warned to keep Paladin Anderson out of Hellsing affairs or we will not be held responcible for any unfortunate incidents if you understand my meaning." Integra answered.

"Understood completely." Alucard said with a toothy grin.

"Tomorrow evening we will be holding services for those who lost their lives in Romania. Alucard, I also extend my sympathies and condolences to those in your homeland who have suffered because of Sir Regenald's plot against the queen and Hellsing." Integra replied.

"He was justly punished for his crimes." Alucard said with a serious look.

"Then that will conclude this organization's business for this evening. I must finish informing the families of the soldiers in my service of their loved one's fates. And I wish to do this alone. Everyone is dismissed." Integra said ushering the small party out of her office.

Alucard called to Walter as he left for the kitchen. "Rations won't be necessary tonight Walter. Seras and I have fed...well." He said as he disappeared to the sublevels of the mansion.

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Seras changed out of her uniform into a more comfortable night shirt. She opened her coffin and sat down. "Did I really do that? Did I actually take a man's life tonight?" She asked herself. She could still feel the blood of the man she'd killed within her. She placed her head in her hands as the reality of her actions began to hit her.

"Seras?" Asked a deep voice. The younger vampire looked up to see Alucard standing in front of her. He didn't have to ask her what she was feeling. Not even reading her thoughts was necessary to know the conflict she felt. He gently rested a finger under her chin tilting her head upward. Then he leaned down putting his hands around her face.

"I know you struggle with this now, but in time it will become easier." He said.

"I...I can't help it. I know he wasn't innocent, and he deserved to die for what he did. I guess it's just, well, there's still a tiny part of me that's screaming at me for it. I know I'm not human anymore, but it's going to take me a little while to get used to this." Seras said her voice cracking.

"For some the first kill is difficult. For others the first kill is easy, but coming to terms with it can be a challenge. It took time for me to realize killing as a human and killing as a vampire can be very different." Alucard replied.

"You...you had difficulty?" Seras asked somewhat suprised.

"It is both simple and complicated. The first night I spent as a vampire was the most terrifying. I felt fear that no human can possibly comprehend...or survive." Alucard answered.

"I've read so many things, but I've never learned how it is you came to be a vampire. Were you turned like I was?" Seras asked.

"No. Your turning is simple to explain. I drank your blood, and fed you mine. That moment you became my fledgling and I your master. In Romania I fed you again, and you became a true vampire from that night on. My birth into darknes was...different." Alucard began. He took a brief pause and then continued his story.

"It was the night after I'd had those whom I felt murdered my wife executed. But I was still so full of rage. I was angry at the world and the God who created it. Man's deceit took her away from me. And I was told God would not allow her into Heaven because she took her own life. But the one I was the most angry at, the one I hated more than all others...was myself. I always felt I'd failed her. I had failed as a ruler and as a human."

Alucard paused again. His eyes were distant for a moment as he started to speak once more. "I remember that night. The screams of the condemned still rang in my ears. The priests, guards, any who saw me...now feared me. I was truly a mad man that night."

"How did it happen?"

"I was away from the castle. I'd run to a remote area taking out my anger on anything I could find, trees, rocks, anything that I could abuse. Even the animals seem to know better than to cross my path. I cursed every living thing in my rage. And in that I ended up cursing myself for all eternity. I had fallen to my knees both weeping and raging at the same time. I pounded my fists into the Earth. I'd never felt more useless, more helpless. It was then in the darkness I could hear a voice inside my head, but saw no one around me."

"What did it sound like?" Seras asked.

"Nothing I'd heard before and would ever want to hear again. Yet I hear it every time I kill. It was the most inhuman and demonic tone echoing in my mind. It told me how my anger had in turn angered God, and I would never enter Heaven beause of it. It told me I was already damned. But that I could have the ultimate revenge against those who had taken my wife away from me. To have what man had sought for ages past...immortality. I could have strength beyond comprehension. Sickeness, old age and death could never touch me." Alucard answered.

He paused and then started again. "Then I was told the price of this immortality and power. I would become a creature bound to the night for all time. I would sleep by day and rise by night. It was the lure of power and revenge that bought me. I hadn't even thought to listen to what the other condition was. All I knew was I would become a creature far stronger than anything man had ever seen. I would live forever. And without question I accepted what this voice in my head offered."

"The voice commanded me to take my sword and stab it into the Earth. I did so and before my eyes blood began to seep from the ground. Then I was told to drink from what sprang fourth from the Earth. And without question I did as I was told. I cupped it in my hands and let it flow into my mouth. I felt both sickened and hungered at the same time. As offensive as the act seemed, I could not stop. I had to have more. So more I took into myself."

Seras sat listening intently. She was learning what most likely no soul had heard before, the begetting of her sire. Her eyes and ears focused soley upon him as she took in every word committing it to memory. After another pause Alucard continued his tale.

"After the third handful was when something started to happen. I could feel an intense burning within me, like my own blood had been turned into acid. My insides were on fire as what I'd drank began taking over. The blood I'd drank was beginning to consume my own. I could feel myself changing inside. Like you did with your turning I began to struggle. My muscles all seemed to start spasming at the same time repeatedly. I felt my throat closing making it impossible for me to breathe. I couldn't scream, couldn't even whimper. I started convulsing and choking. My heart was beating so fast I was sure it was about to explode. My eyes felt like they'd had hot pokers put to them. I felt like I was breathing in nothing more than burning hot flames. I had no control at all over what was happening to me."

Another pause before continuing. "It was pain unlike anything I'd ever felt before. Even the tortures I endured as a prisoner of the Turkish sultan were nothing compared to this. It was like my body was being twisted inside out. The convulsions, inability to breathe or speak, the burning and the inhuman rapid heart beats..."

"Then what happened?" Seras asked.

"Then it all just stopped. My body lost all feeling. My eyes rolled back and my heart stopped. I was dead. But as quickly as my body seemed to have died, I suddenly felt life, or the illusion of it shoot back into me. My eyes snapped open. I had feeling in my limbs once again. I felt myself move. My throat was no longer constricted, though I strangely did not feel the need to take in air. I could hear everything. The sounds that humans take for granted that night became terrifying to me. The chirping of birds became like screeches of demons. A rat moving across the ground felt like a heard of elephants stomping toward me. Even the sound of worms slithering against the Earth were overwhelming."

This seemed all too much for Seras to take in at once, but she wasn't about to ask him to stop either. She began to realize just how different it was for her when Alucard turned her. She also realized she'd had it much easier with her turning than he had with his.

"I saw things no human can see. Humans are basically blind at night unless they have special devices to help them see. But what a human cannot make out in the blackest of night, I saw clearly as if it were illuminated by the sun. It all amazed, yet frightened me because I didn't understand what had happend to me. But my hypersenses were not the only thing I had aquired. My thoughts turned back to the blood. The blood that had triggered this change within me. I looked down at the spot where the blood had suddenly appeared. Now it was all gone. Nothing remained but dry ground. All the evidence that remained was the hole I'd made with my sword."

"The first hunger?" Seras asked.

"Yes. The first hunger is always the strongest for any newborn vampire. Fortunately you had a ready supply waiting for you when you were fully recovered from your transformation. I saw to that when I had Walter look after you while I went to finish off the bastard who'd stabbed you. I however, was not that lucky. I had no master to guide me or tell me what was happening to my body. I had also neglected to learn the last condition of the immortality I'd now been given. I would hunger for one thing and one thing only...blood."

Alucard looked down for a moment, his face serious. "Even though I'd had three large handfuls of that strange blood, or what I assumed was blood I was starving. I felt like I hadn't eaten in weeks. Every sound continued to overwhelm me until I heard something very, very familiar. I could hear the beating of a human heart not far from where I was. It was then I also realized that my own heart had no beat at all. I was confused. How could I be moving if my heart did not beat and did not pump blood throughout my body. But as that heartbeat grew louder and louder, I stopped trying to understand what was happening to me. For the first time I heard not only the beating of a human heart, but the pounding of blood in human veins. Every other noise was drowned out by those two sounds alone. And not only could I hear the blood rushing inside a human body. I could smell it as well. And it smelled sweeter than any flower, any wine. All I knew was I had to have it. My body was screaming for it. My senses were overwhelmed by it's scent. It was then three words played in my mind over and over...blood is life. Blood was life, and the key to our immortality."

"I could hear breathe rapidly enter and leave the body. I was beginning to track the source insesently. I was stalking a human as a wolf stalks a sheep or deer. It was a young girl, no older than sixteen. She was already frightened. I guess she was a village girl who had gotten lost while finding water or perhaps doing an errand for her mother. At that point, I really didn't care. All I knew she had what could satiate my hunger, and I had to have it."

"She obviously saw that something was not normal about me and started to run. Before I knew what had come over me I rushed after her taking her down in one stride. I held her down and forced her head back. Her heart was beating as mine had before my human death. Except she could scream where I could not. I had to silence her. I had to keep from being seen. It was something I'd never done before, but it seemed perfectly natural at that very moment. I opened my mouth and sank my teeth into her throat. It all happened so fast. I could hear her screams yet I could not. My lust for her blood drowned out anything else. She continued to struggle a moment more as I fed on her. I held her down with what seemed to be an iron grip. I continued ripping into her throat like a wild beast. The feel of her blood, her sweet, warm blood rushing into my mouth made me feel something beyond euphoric."

Alucard took one more pause before finishing his story. "When I'd finished feeding I felt myself renewed. I felt like a starving man who'd feasted like never before. Then I looked down and saw the reality of what I had done. I looked at the girl's face. It was twisted forever in fear and death. I saw the horrible wound I'd inflicted upon her delicate throat. I felt her blood dripping from my lips. I watched it drip onto my fingers. I looked at it, and then at her. I could not understand how I could have done this. I had killed an innocent. I could hear that voice laughing in my mind. I could hear the devil mocking me for what I had now become. That night I truly became a monster." He finished.

"Alucard, how did you get through it?" Seras asked.

"I had to accept that I was no longer a human being. I actually learned to be a better hunter by watching animal predators. I watched wolves hunting, stalking their prey. How they methodically picked out their victims and overwhelmed them before they could get away. Wolves never felt pity or regret for killing what they needed. They usually weeded out the sick and the weak. Those who would not survive anyway. I let their own sense of reason become like my own. I was a hunter, a predator...a killer." Alucard explained.

Then he looked at Seras, his red eyes gazing into hers. She returned his gaze. "I think...I think I'm beginning to understand now. At least, understand why you are the way you are. It all seems so different than what I've been taught to believe. Not just about vampires, but about you. When I think about it now, so much of what was in the book Bram Stoker wrote was so...wrong." Seras said.

"There is something I know about that book that I will tell you. But it is something you must never reveal to another living soul or both of us will end up in a great deal of trouble. You've read the book by Bram Stoker, yes?" Alucard questioned.

"Yes, but it was a while back so I couldn't remember every detail." Seras answered.

"I trust you do know how the book ended." Alucard replied.

"It ended with Dracula's destruction. But that is a complete contradiction to the fact that you're here." Seras said.

"Exactly. The ending was a complete fabrication. As you now know Van Helsing did not have me destroyed. He couldn't destroy me. So instead he and the men who hunted me down performed a dark ritual that bound me to the Hellsing family. My powers are restricted and only with the permission of my master can I ever go at an enemy with my full strength. Van Helsing made a deal with Stoker who had heard about me through stories and papers and wanted to write a book turning me into a vampire. Little did he know that what he thought was a creation of his imagination was in fact real. And it would have been rather disasterous for the queen and for Van Helsing if the whole of England, not to mention the world knew that Vlad The Impalor still roams among the living. So they struck a deal. Stoker would be allowed to write his novel with certain facts and events, but there was one condition. The world had to believe Van Helsing had me destroyed. Stoker agreed and both parties got what they wanted. Stoker got his little book, and Van Helsing kept his little secret."

Seras looked at Alucard in amazement. It was going to take a while for her to digest everything she'd learned this night. Would she even be able to?

"All we have is time. There are many things you will learn as your powers manifest themselves and you learn to use them. But we will save that conversation for another time. This night has left me feeling a bit eghausted. And I would wager you are feeling rather tired as well." Alucard said.

"Yes, I am tired. Strange as it seems, everything that happened from the time we left til now is going to take a while to really sink in." Seras answered.

"I guess I should let you get some rest. Tomorrow night we will have things to do." Alucard said as he got up to leave.

"Alucard..." Seras called quietly.

"Yes Seras?" He asked.

"Please...stay with me in my coffin tonight. I just...I don't want to be alone right now. I know it shouldn't be such a big deal but..."

Alucard turned to face Seras and gently placed a finger against her lips. Then he nudged her over to give him room in her coffin bed. He laid flat on his back while Seras snuggled up to him. Not another word between them was exchanged as night turned to day. They both quietly fell into their death slumber waiting for the moon to conqure the sky the next night.

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