Outtakes from The Hellsing Anime (Extended)
Opening of the first episode. Female walks into gentleman's home. Gentleman closes door. Cut to ending dialogue. "Who are you? What are you doing in my home?"
No answer. Gentleman looks around nervously. He's supposed to get a responce. He clears his voice and asks again. "Who are you? What are you doing in my home?"
Again, no responce. Camera pans to Alucard who is fighting with his gun.
Alucard: "I can't get this !*&%$@*, (long stream of censored) gun put together!"
Director: "CUT!"
Scene with Seras, priest vampire, his ghouls and Alucard.
Priest vampire has Seras as his prisoner. "I know you're feeling pain, but I will give you pleasure and it will last forever."
Door is blasted open. Alucard stands at the door. "I've had enough of you damn punk!"
Cut to Alucard entering the church. Alucard enters through the door. "Don't you have any shame? I thought scum could at least feel," WHAP!
Alucard accidently steps on loose board and it flies up and hits him dead in the face. A nail from the board is stuck in his forehead.
Director: "Make Up!"
Episode 3: Cut to Anderson's entrance.
Female usher: "Welcome to London, Father."
Anderson misses a step and falls on the ground. He gets up.
Anderson(spitting out several teeth): "Goh wid God mhy hild."
Cut to Alucard and Anderson facing off. Anderson charges. Anderson swings swords. Alucard employs some fancy footwork. Anderson thrusts sword foward.
Alucard: "OUUUUUCCCHHHH!"
Anderson realizes he didn't stab Alucard in the side but...somewhere a little lower.
Director: "CUT!"
Alucard: "You (lonnnnnnnnnng stream of censored) idiot!"
Episode 5
Pan to Luke Valentine talking on cell phone.
Luke: "What do you mean I owe for unused rollover minutes?"
Director: "Cut!"
Opening of Episode 5. Fade into opening scene. Yan Valentine is smoking a cigarette. He accidentally drops the lit cig on his leg. His pants catch on fire.
Yan: "It burns! It burns! OUUUUHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Yan is now running frantically through the club with both his leg and now his arm on fire.
Luke: "Idiot. I told him one of these days that habit was gonna kill him."
Episode 4:
Scene with Alucard and journalist he's about to feed on.
Alucard: "I've been hungry for so very long, but you're going to help me change that."
Kim: Gasps of fear.
Alucard goes for her neck. "Are these real?"
Integra: "ALUCARD!"
Kim: "You pervert!" Kim knees Alcuard in the groin.
Seras shakes her head in dismay.
Director: "CUT!"
Cut to end scene of episode 4...
Seras runs into her room and sees the medical blood. She rips it open.
She starts to greedily consume the blood.
Seras: "HOT!"
Seras runs out of her room fanning her tongue.
Director: "Ok, who's the wise ass who put tobasco sauce in the blood bag?"
Episode 5:
Integra and the Knights of the Round table are assembled. Integra walks into the room and prepares to take a seat. The Knights for some reason can't seem to stop looking at her with wide and somewhat horrified eyes. She looks around for a moment, sees nothing out of the ordinary. She looks at the table, and then looks down. Then realizes she's left her pants undone.
"EEEEEK!" She screams and doubles over trying to hide her open fly.
Cut to scene with Walter giving Alucard the new gun he requested. Seras walks in and Walter prepares to give her a new weapon as well. He attempts to pick up the case containing the Harconnen cannon. Walter: "I can do this."
15 minutes later....
Walter: "I can do this...I can pick up this bloody...."
Director: "Walter picks up Harconnen Cannon take 50!"
Walter finally gets the thing up...CRASH!
Walter: "I'm getting too old for this $%!#!"
Director: "Stand In!"
Episode 6:
Integra begins her verbal tirade against the Knight of the Round Table Conference: "These monsters dare to enter this house built on blood and honor! I will...." microphone bumps Integra in the back of the head.
Director: "Cut!"
Integra waits and begins the speech again. "The ordeals of the first hellsing masters were far harsher than this. No matter how strong they are or how intelligent they are they are still..." microphone taps Integra on the head again.
Director: "Cut!"
Integra becoming visibly irritated waits to pick up where she left off. "These monsters dare to enter this house built on blood and honor! I will see them all roast in the deepest pits of hell!"
"BURP!"
All eyes go toward the director who is now sinking into his chair.
"Excuse me."
Episode 1:
Alucard prepares to shoot the female vampire while her victim looks on in horror.
Alucard: "Out of the way human! Unless you'd rather become a miserable little ghoul."
Alucard aims gun and prepares to shoot. Magazine clip falls out of gun onto the ground.
Director: "Cut!"
Episode 7:
Seras is walking in train tunnel with Alucard's head in her arms. She looks around.
Seras starts dribbling Alucard's head. "Onesie, twosie..."
Alucard: "Ow!"
Bounce...
"Stop!"
Bounce....
"That!"
Bounce...
"Police!"
Bounce...
"Girl!"
Cut to last fight scene between Anderson and Alucard:
Anderson has had both his arms shot off and is glaring at Alucard.
Anderson: "Go ahead and shoot me. I'm unarmed."
Anderson stands and laughs. Alucard and Seras look at him like he's an idiot.
Director: "Enough with the adlibs!"
Episode 6:
Cut to Luke and Alucard's fight scene. Luke is running away as Alucard's arm bursts from the mouth of one of his shadow demons. He aims, shoots...and misses.
Luke: "Your aim sucks grandpa!"
Alucard tangled up in his shadows. "Come back here and say that to my face you little...!"
Director: "$%!& CUT!"
Cut to conclusion of fight scene:
Luke has had both his legs shot off and is about to be devoured by Alucard's shadow demons.
Luke: "You as*h**e! Do you know what this suit cost me?? You'll be hearing from my attorney!"
Alucard looks at Luke and then at director, both of which are ranting and raving at each other.
Alucard: "I don't get paid enough for this $#!%."
Episode 13:
Alucard is ressurrected in Hellhound form. Demon dog goes running through the streets for the Tower of London. Dog is snatched up by a net.
"Ok pooch, to the pound with ya."
Director: "Get the dog catcher out of here!!!!"
Episode 7:
Anderson runs toward Alucard after he's had his harms shot off.
Anderson: "You bastard!"
Alucard: "Poor Vatican whipping boy. I've had enough fun for tonight. Or what, are you going to chew me to death?"
Anderson: "Shut your hole you cheap black magician of Hellsing."
Alucard: "Which one? You shot me with about one hundred of them."
Director: "Will you just stick to the script!"
"Anderson/ Alucard face off take three!"
Anderson: "You bastard!"
Alucard gasps and passes out.
Director: "What the hell?"
Anderson looks confused.
Seras: "What have you done to my mast...uhhh." Seras passes out beside Alucard.
Anderson: "What the?"
Director walks up to Anderson and two vampires. Sniffs air. "Somebody get Anderson a breath mint!"
Alucard and Seras: "#*(%!^& garlic!"